“Have I Ruined My Life?” – How Postpartum Depression Affects the Mother/Child Relationship
Postpartum depression (PPD) isn’t uncommon. In fact, up to 10% of mothers experience some form of it. Despite that it’s nothing to be ashamed of, many new moms still struggle with guilt and shame.
Simply put, postpartum depression is an overwhelming feeling of sadness after your baby is born. In every sense of the word, it’s a depressive state. But unlike traditional forms of depression, it does typically go away on its own with time.
However, there isn’t a set timeline from mother to mother. Everyone is different. And while you’re struggling with PPD, you might feel completely overwhelmed by motherhood or like you’re not connecting with your baby.
You may even wonder if you ruined your life.
That’s why it’s so important to understand, how does postpartum depression really impact your relationship with your child? What can you do about it?
Early Development and Relationships
The mother/child relationship is especially important within the first three months of a baby’s life. But, if you feel like you’re not connecting with your newborn, those feelings of shame and guilt you already feel due to PPD can become even stronger.
There is a slight risk that you’ll decrease the chances of maternal bonding with your baby if you’re staying more distant from them during the first few months of their life. Babies need physical touch, care, and warmth. They count on you for all of it. So, if you have someone else like a spouse or partner stepping up to do most of the caregiving, the child will likely bond with them.
That isn’t meant to scare you or make you feel guilty. Young children simply need to bond with their natural caregivers. But, if you’re not healthy enough to take care of your new baby, that’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s important to focus on your health so you can get better, and then give your baby the care they deserve.
Understanding Postpartum Depression
If you just had a baby and you have thoughts that you may have ruined your life, you could certainly be struggling with PPD. New motherhood can be overwhelming for many mothers, which can lead them to struggle with both feelings of guilt and depression.
Some common symptoms of PPD include:
Crying
Irritability
Anger
Fear
Unwanted thoughts
Fatigue
Changes in weight
Postpartum depression is more than just the “baby blues.” It can be a crippling disorder that lasts for months if untreated.
The good news? It can be treated, and you can find the help you need to get through it quickly.
Treating PPD
The first thing you need to understand about PPD is that it isn’t your fault. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad mother or that you love your baby any less.
Seeking out treatment for postpartum depression can help you to get over it faster so you can create a better bond with your child and build a lasting, nurturing relationship.
There are different ways of treating postpartum depression. Some women benefit from getting on antidepressants for a while. This can be especially helpful if you’re prone to depression or experienced it even before your child was born.
In many cases, though, counseling or therapy is the best approach to managing and treating PPD. A therapist can help you to get to the underlying cause of your depression and help you to work through your feelings so you can manage your symptoms.
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If you’re struggling with postpartum depression and you’re worried about how it might impact your relationship with your child, feel free to contact us. There isn’t any shame in PPD, but there’s also no shame in getting the help you need.
The birth of a child is a joyful, unique time of life. You should be able to enjoy it and to bond with your baby the way you would like to.