Are You Struggling With The Reality of Co-parenting After A Divorce Or Separation?

Have you gone through a divorce and now find yourself in a position you never thought you would be in; trying to navigate the world of parenting your children in a divided household?  Are you struggling to communicate with your ex-spouse on parenting issues or are simply not on the same page? Perhaps your own feelings of anger or grief are getting in the way of moving on and envisioning life after divorce.  Mostly, you are worried about how your children are coping with grief at the loss of their family as they knew it, and don’t know how to help them. 

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Each day is filled with uncertainty about the future for your kids and you may be struggling to see how you are going to move on. It is possible you are starting to see behaviors in your children that are concerning. Are they starting to pit one parent against the other? Maybe they are starting to struggle in school, getting into trouble or exhibiting signs of anxiety or depression. It is common for kids to blame one parent more than the other, and often they take out their anger on the parent who they feel is the safest, likely the one reading this page.

Perhaps the divorce was messy; with lawyers, custody hearings and divorce mediation.  Now, trying to move on and attempting co-parenting with an ex-spouse who may be resentful or resistant seems daunting. Do you find yourself awake at night just wishing that your life would go back to the way it was? 

Approximately 50% Of Children Will Experience The Separation Of Their Parents

The reality is that almost half of American children will experience divorce. You have probably heard this statistic. You have also probably thought that it would never happen to you. Of course you did. No one goes into marriage thinking that it will end.

Statistics have also shown that children who experience divorce are much more likely to fail in school, experiment with alcohol or drugs, have difficulties in their own relationships and experience both emotional and physical problems. It is common to see kids start acting out at home and school or withdrawing from family and friends.

A common theme we have noticed when working with teens and children of divorced parents is for the child to internalize the blame for the divorce. Often a child will take the blame in order to make the world feel safe. They may say to themselves, “if I can just figure out what I did wrong then maybe and I can have my family back”.

Coping with divorce also takes its a toll on the health of the parents. The idea of starting over and recreating your own life can seem overwhelming. You may feel stuck; unable to move on while having to deal with your own sadness and depression. You now have to manage a household by yourself and rework your finances all while trying to give your kids the best life you can. The good news is that divorce counseling can help you start to work through this painful stage in your life and find a sense of balance and normalcy. 

Co-Parenting Counseling Can Help You Become A Stable Presence For Your Children

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If you are feeling stuck and overwhelmed with moving on in your life after a separation, we provide online therapy (link to online therapy page) for parents and teenagers who are having difficulty coping with divorce. You the parent, must learn to take care of yourself. You cannot be there for your children if you are not in a good place yourself. We offer divorce counseling that is compassionate, confidential and solution-focused. We can hold the space for you to begin to work through your own feelings of anger or grief and loss so you can then hold the space for your children to do the same.

Second, as a now single parent, you must learn a new parenting style. We offer co-parenting counseling that is practical and tangible. We can provide you with parenting tips and practices that you can use in real time to see real results with your children. We can also provide family therapy and can work with you and your children together to improve your relationship and communication.

What Can Allison And Dillon Do For You?

It is possible to move on with your life. In fact, it is possible to have a better life than you had before. In our sessions we can help you process your feelings about the separation, identify new and healthy activities, and plot a new and happier course for your future. We can help you learn to better communicate with your former spouse or partner. Yes, you can improve your communication with them even if you are the only one trying! Our sessions can improve your relationship and communication with your children. We can help your child find their voice and express their feelings about the change in a healthier way.

There are many ways in which we can work with your family. We can work with you, the parent or parents, individually. We can work individually with your child or teen, or we can work with your entire family together. Because our services are online, we can even conference in your former partner and address co-parenting directly. This may be a good option if simmering conflict or unresolved issues remain that make it challenging, if not impossible, to be in the same room together.

You May Still Have Some Reservations About Online Therapy For Co-Parenting…

What if my former spouse or partner refuses to participate?

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It is common for one partner to be resistant to counseling. The good news is that you can create change for yourself and your children without their help. While your relationship may be over, we are betting on the fact that your former partner still loves and wants what is best for their children. We have found that even the most resistant parent will participate for the benefit of their kids. With online therapy, we can accommodate challenging schedules and distant locations while you attend sessions from the comfort of your own home.

is It a sign of weakness that I cannot handle my problems myself?

Give yourself a break. It is actually a sign of strength to admit when we need a hand. I can tell you, and I bet most therapists would agree, that the person we see sitting in our office is often the strongest and most healthy member of the family. Of course, all of our sessions are confidential and secure.

What if my kids won’t participate?

Allison and I have worked with surly teens for a long time and can tell you that it is not that difficult to hook a resistant child in therapy. Once they realize that they have a caring and impartial adult in their lives, the biggest problem we have is getting them out the door. Kids want to talk about themselves and share their lives without feeling judged and lectured. Let us teach you to be that person as well.  

Call To Schedule An Appointment With Allison Or Dillon Today

If you are ready learn how to be a more effective co parent, we offer a free 15 to 20 minute consult by phone or video to see if we would be a good fit to work together. You can reach us at (813) 296-8851, or through the contact page on our website.

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